Ode to the Bully Within

“You can’t do this.  
You’re too weak.  
You’re not fast enough; you’re too slow.  
Get out of the way; you’re out of your league.  
You’ll never be good enough—go back to your little life.  
How can you think like this? Don’t you realize it will never happen for you?  
You’re stupid for even considering it!  
You’re nothing. Small. Insignificant!”

We can all see ourselves as victims. In our own ways, we’ve experienced disappointment—name-calling, rejection, ridicule, loneliness, and feeling misunderstood. We’ve faced setbacks, like poor grades, being fired from a job, or a breakup that blindsided us. The way we define ourselves plays a crucial role in how we navigate and overcome these challenges.

As we grow up, being told we are too fat, ugly, smelly, stupid, or weak can shape our self-image. Eventually, we start to believe these negative labels. Our journey should be about defining ourselves and discovering who we really are. But when these criticisms bombard us, it’s easy to let them take root. If everyone around us insists we can’t do something, we start to think they must be right.

These labels become our identities.

As we mature, it’s not just other kids hurling insults; we begin to echo those words ourselves. We’ve internalized the victim mentality; we’ve accepted that definition, and we remind ourselves of it at every opportunity. 

Typically, we picture a bully as someone bigger, older, stronger, or more intelligent than us. But sometimes, that big bad wolf isn’t an external force; sometimes, the big bad wolf is… ourselves.

How do you define your bully?