Rude vs Mean vs Bullying

Recently, during a presentation on bullying for a school service center, some parents shared heartbreaking stories of children facing bullying and isolation at school. This reminded me of the importance of distinguishing between rudeness, meanness, and bullying.

Rudeness:
     Rudeness involves hurting someone unintentionally. For example, a child might throw leaves in another child’s face without meaning to harm them. Rude behavior is often spontaneous and unplanned.

Meanness:
     Meanness, on the other hand, is a deliberate act meant to hurt someone once or twice. This includes insults or criticism aimed at bringing someone down. While painful, these actions are not continuous or systematic.

Bullying:
      Bullying is aggressive behavior that is intentional, repeated, and involves a power imbalance. It can be physical, verbal, relational, or technological. Unlike rude or mean behavior, bullying persists even when the victim shows or expresses their pain.

Why Is This Distinction Important?
     It is crucial not to confuse rudeness, meanness, and bullying because if everything is labeled as bullying, we risk downplaying the seriousness of actual cases. This could undermine the importance of addressing a critical issue affecting many young people.